Determined


By: JaMeisha
Carr


Babies
  screaming constantly,


Babies crying their hearts
out,


Children smiles as bright as
the sun,


Rolling wheelchairs down the
hall; they run.


Strawberry
anesthesia,


Whispering
bleach,


The sight of a dead
  one,


It gives me
courage.


Determined.

Love Is Blind </3

  She
looked in the mirror; she did not recognize her face. Being in denial, she was
in love. But was this love? Why did her face look so different, what happened to
the beautiful smile she once had? Should she go through with the marriage
arranged around the corner or leave what could possibly be her ticket to a big
life? Was the relationship worth the money, her life?


Kell, a pediatric nurse for the best
children’s hospital in Houston, was always this happy jolly girl. Fresh out of
college she of course had nothing. So many loans she had to pay back. She
managed her life of nothing though. She never complained about anything. Her
family supported her to a certain extent. The only thing that was wrong with
this jolly girl was that she was 26 and still living at home with her parents.
But all that soon was to change after she met Him. He was this handsome man that
was offering her the world, and of course at the beginning everything was as
good as gold. She was then even happier. She was involved in a love that she
thought was perfect. Being in a relationship with the best doctor in the same
facility, you would think this was the best couple in town. But looks are very
deceiving.


Everything was fine, until one day he
snapped. I had never seen him like this before. After this wonderful year
almost, he changes on me. But why, what did I ever do? One slap to the face was
the first and only alarm I needed. But as always when you’re in love you tend to
stay where you shouldn’t belong.


“What’s wrong Kell? Aren’t you happy,
you’re about to marry one of the best bachelors in Houston. An employer asked.
Kell with a sigh on her face, shakes her head with a fake smile and says “Oh
nothing just thinking, and I’m happy of course.”But deep inside it’s killing her
like crazy. “I love this man, just not the way he loves me. How can I explain
this to people?” She thought.


“If I was to leave him now, where would I
go? Wanting to go back to my parents would be an epic fail. They had already
changed what was my bedroom to their own personal entertainment room. I hadn’t
spoken about his incidents to anyone especially my father because he would kill
him. And yet I still love this man, so he dying would be beyond tragic. But I
had to choose. He could take everything away from me as he gave to me. He had
paid off all my loans and everything. So if I left I would have nothing once
again but my dignity. He’s the reason why I have the job I have now. Huh, I’m
sitting here talking to myself, because I have no friends. I have no one to
really talk to about my problems. I guess this was the outcome when I chose not
to be social with my old friends from college. Gosh I miss
them.”


It was a Friday night, the usual “date
night” and dinner reservations were already set. Mister and I were getting
dressed. He was the closet looking for his attire and I was in the bathroom
fixing my hair. He walked behind me and kissed me on the back of my shoulder, I
smiled. “Let’s have a good night baby girl; I want to see you smile all night.”
He whispered in my ear softly. “For sure, I love you.” I said. “I love you
more.” He replied. The moments like this she cherishes and wishes it would last
forever.


Finally at the restaurant, the waitress
walked up and asked for our orders. I’m thinking to myself what to eat, what to
eat? Mister said “I need to eat a salad and some soup.” But I really wanted some
parmesan crusted chicken and some sweet calamari. So I suggested just that.
“Ooo” I said as he grabbed my knee really tight. I looked around to see if
anyone noticed the shocked look on my face. As soon as I had placed my order and
the waitress walked away, he said “Don’t embarrass me like that ever again baby
girl. You need to keep your body up and those calories in that chicken will not
help you maintain that. Tonight I’m going to let you slide because we can still
end this night well.” And I sat there in silence for the rest of night including
in the car on our way home.


As the days past mister and I were still in
this situation. I mean relationship. And the hitting didn’t get worse but it got
to the point where I don’t want it anymore. I lie in my room sometimes and cry
myself to sleep. But I continue to get up every day with a smile on my face just
to let people see on the outside I’m still happy. But really I’m so broken down
I don’t know what to do. I talked to my parents recently, but their so excited
about the wedding, the problems I had going on was not even of topic. How can I
escape this?


“Hey Kell, how are you this morning?”
Stacy, a nurse asked me. “Hey Stacy, I’m fine and you?” I replied. “Oh I’m
great, can’t wait to see how beautiful you’re going to be in your dress next
week.” She said. “Yeah me too. But I got a question.” I said. “Okay sure what is
it?” she wondered. “Okay say there’s this girl and she was in a situation that
was too hard to get out of..:” she interrupted and said“what situation, what
friend?” listen I said, “she’s in a relationship that is not really healthy, but
everyone thinks that it’s just so perfect because they look like their perfect
couple. But any who the girl she wants to leave, but she doesn’t know how. She
doesn’t know where to go. At this point she stuck and will be left with nothing.
She has no one to talk to or turn to. What should she do?” I said. Stacy looked
very curious and said “Kell if you’re trying to leave. I mean your friend, tell
her to leave. I’m pretty sure she has a great support system, just tell her to
open her mouth and speak up. And if not that there are places to go. I’m pretty
sure you, she has some kind of backup plan to move into her own spot. There are
a lot of small apartments out the city to move. And plenty of jobs to get with
the experience she may have.” I looked with a shocked, “okay I will make sure
that gets back to her.” Stacy grabbed me and said “I promise to keep this
between us, and I’m always here if you or your friend needs me.”   
 


 Was she right? I do make enough money to
get my own spot. I guess I never looked at it that way cause mister always had
  everything set out for me. But that will be the first thing I do when I get
  home look up something small just for me.



Meanwhile, at home mister walked in with a
dozen of white flowers and a dozen of kisses for the lady. His energy was off
the wall. And I loved every moment of it. We kissed each other so passionate for
a long while as if we hadn’t seen each other in ages. But of course the moment
wouldn’t last forever, because after a while he would get angry over something
small and start having a tantrum like a 3 year old child. As that occurs I get a
shove to wall, and this time I retaliate and swing back at his face. I gave all
power to that slap too.“Huuuhhhhh I’m so sick of this. I can’t do this anymore.
I am not your rag doll, I am your fiancée, your lady, but I’m soon to be
nothing, NOTHING do you hear me. I am too good to you to be treated like this.
What happened to the happiness we had at first? Why are things like this? Do you
care how I feel; you know what I’m leaving!”   I screamed out as I was pounding
his body.


And just like that, with no words said from
mister, I left.

SUPER NURSE

December of ’03 was the time I witnesses that children like me always need help. Spending time in the hospital from a severe car crash, I was all beaten up and swollen. Experiencing memory loss from the brain damaged and the feeling of the limbs of my legs being loose and in the opposite direction of one another: not having the gut feeling of even speaking, eating or drinking with a tube down my throat. I was so damaged and broken.  But I watched the other children around me suffer worse than I did. There were children, who had no legs and children who were blind, I saw it all. But I always  watched the nurses support them. It made me think that I could also help them too. I am blessed that I could still see and I can still walk. I feel like it’s only right if I could help the children who don’t have what I was blessed with. I would feel like a hero or the super nurse.

As the days went, I continued to get myself together, and as I was doing that I also continued to watch the other children. After everything was going by I worked my way out the hospital; which made me very sad. I had grown friendships with these children and to leave the hospital, I had to realize that I had to leave my friendships too. This only made me want to become super nurse even more.

When I finally reached high school, I had decided to go to Central High School. Central had my attention when I found out they had magnets. The Nursing magnet was my first choice even before I stepped into Central. I was so excited to finally feel like my dream was coming true. Being in the nursing magnet I’ve learned everything from the basics of medical terminology to CPR and other hands-on things. I finally got my CNA as a junior in high school. This made the process of being super nurse even easier. Being certified I was only a couple more steps away. College.

As a future college student I plan to major in nursing. I will be going to a four year university to receive my bachelors’ degree. Achieving my dream as super nurse is must. I will do anything possible to peruse my dreams. It means so much to me to save or at least try to help save these children like me. I owe it to them.

When I finally become Super Nurse, there will be happier children no matter what kind of situation there in. I will also be happy as well. Living a dream that you’ve worked hard for is something everyone should be proud of. I promise this will be me. 

 Why be a regular nurse, when you can expand your horizon and be a travel nurse? A Travel nurse is a nurse that obviously travels, but it’s not a vacation. These nurses actually have to get to work. They work at a medical facility for six months and then switch locations if requested. But it is an exciting experience because the advantage of being a travel nurse is that you get to travel and live all over the world. You get to witness new things. With all that being said you get paid good money for this super exciting occupation.

Working in the same hospital for years is like waiting to turn 21. Day after day you’re waiting for that big exciting day. In the hospital you’re waiting for something different to happen. Everyday it’s the same boring day. Waiting to turn 21 is like the death that never happened; just imagine working in the same hospital, with the same people every single day doing basically nothing. Like get up and jump around or something geesh!

Hold up; let me stop getting you so worked up like everything is cake. You still have to take test, and wait on visa from your agency or hospital. You have to choose on a practice you want to do such as: Physical Therapy, OR, ICU, and much more. But after all that everything is usually cake. You have great benefits. High pay, free housing, licensing fees paid, health insurance and travel expenses are usually covered.

Let’s take a trip to the Middle East. I know it’s not the first thing that I would particularly choose, but the money is so great here. Plus there are so many patients that need your help. Oh don’t start crying, you’ll get to go home. Just relax. Be happy that you’re not one of these very sick patients suffering; you get to be the hero and help them get well.

If not the Middle East, there’s always Australia. In Australia they expect a 2 year commitment. I know it’s like but what about six months? Or Canada which has many different opportunities as the United States, but there’s also Europe. Different countries want and expect different things.

Being a travel nurse is of course a good career but obviously you have to be applied by some kind of rules. Everything is not all free and dandy, sorry to bust your bubble. 

http://www.women-on-the-road.com/international-travel-nursing.html

If there was a will that magic powers really exist, what would be the best magic? What would be the worst magic?
Children all over the world expect to have magic powers when they grow up, but how can that be if in reality magic powers don't exsist?
Should we tell children now growing up that they will never have magical powers? Will reality reuin these children's dreams?

What Makes A Great Career ?
Does College Really Determine Your Future ?

Our Children’s Number One Hero

Every grown up in the world should know by now that children rule the world. They are the world! What needs to be understood more is that children need their parents more than anything. Helping every child in the world should not be an option, it should it be mandatory. This is clearly because children are the future. The future employees, the future singer, dancers, officers, doctors, nurses and etc. but for them to be these great people, they need great advisors.

This is where the grown-ups today come in. Not just parents but doctors and nurses. Pediatric nurses and doctors are what they are. The way I feel about them are that they are the best super heroes of all time. My reasoning for this is because when children are at their worst, they are there to help them get back to their best, which means hope for the future.

Pediatric nurses and doctors have to go to through an educational process, college: university or medical school. But this is only for perfection. Some stay in the educational process for long periods of time, 8 to 10 years maybe. But why not? I would. This would not only make me very social because that comes naturally but smarter, yes, and more aware. If any parent in the world would have the opportunity to thank anyone in the world besides God, it should be these medical heroes. They work with these children up until their 21 years old.

It amazes me to see the bright smiles on these children’s faces when doctors and nurses complete their mission of getting them well enough. I can’t stress enough about how much I love these people because, I was once one of them children, stuck in a hospital bed with my face on the floor. I lay in that bed wondering if I’m ever going to have a future.  Will I ever walk again; will people still love me and my smile even though I don’t have any teeth? Look at me now, writing this and smiling with my 32 teeth. Exciting isn’t it? They helped me and the other children have a second chance. I’m pretty sure that now those children that were in the hospital with me are taking their second chance to an advantage.

I want, I have, No I NEED to be one of those heroes in my adulthood. It would make me feel like the best women in the world. I feel like I would be giving back something or sharing something that was given to me.  I love children anyway, so why not? JaMeisha loves the kids “laughing out loud!”

Every day I think to myself would if I wasn’t able to smile at all, while in the hospital? I wouldn’t be able to have this conversation right now. I would be the one hoping that I get out the hospital and how thankful I am to have these wonderful doctors and nurses helping me make my way out. That’s why I thank god every day for blessing me with another chance.

But enough about me, back to these wonderful children; I feel like we need to give these kids a head start on the game. Life is not easy as an adult and me, almost there, knows that now. Educate these kids to want to save lives and strive to be the best. All the positive energy will make the world better. The best career field is to be in the medical field. Not only will it always around with open jobs but the money is also good. Not only that but I know it would feel great to help people in need.

Children are so lost in paradise that they don’t realize that being a super hero with supernatural powers will never be able to happen because there is no supernova. But what they also fail to realize is that they will have a power that they can make stronger by expanding their education.